An Ode to a Foodie

As per American Psychologist Abraham Maslow, food ranks third after air and water in his renowned ‘Hierarchy of Needs’. A foodie begs to differ; it’s the most important one. They literally live and breathe for it.

90% of their conscious and 100% of sub-conscious mind is ardently devoted to food

When they are not eating it, they are always thinking of what to eat next. There’s no greater passion, obsession or addiction.

‘Googling’ food is a pet hobby

When they can’t have what they want to eat at that particular time, they set out to experience it through the next level, i.e. virtually. They will search for vivid images of what they are craving for and torment themselves more.

Their olfactory senses are better than that of a shark smelling a blood drop from miles away

They have this almost supernatural capability, always on high alert. All it takes is a whiff, they just smell something edible and they can figure out what it is, from ingredients to spices, right down to its molecular structure. Trust them to know when something smells ‘fishy’.

The last piece saved is a prohibited sanctuary

Be it a sinful bite of dessert or a juicy portion of steak, if it’s left on the plate does not mean it’s up for sharing. Do not touch it, I repeat do not. That last morsel is saved for it’s the best, you are snatching the prey out a T-Rex’s grasp, which they don’t forgive easily and hold grudges for life.

Mood swings are directly proportional to the amount and quality of food intake

 An empty stomach makes them a loaded barrel; cranky and ready to explode anytime, till they have been fed and the cravings have been soothed. The same applies to bland food; it’s a catalyst for disaster.

Every situation and hardship can be salvaged by a remedy recipe

Ice cream for breakups, desserts for makeup, they know it all. They think the world can be made a better place only if you feed it well.

Online transactions are dominated by Swiggy and Zomato

Food delivery portals are sacred; they are their favorite virtual hangouts as they are an unrestricted source of a zillion food options at any time of the day.

Lunchtime is the most sought after hour at work

They keep counting the hours, minutes and even seconds leading up to it. By that time, they have already researched who has been hiding what into their magic boxes and have made a checklist prioritizing what they’ll have first.

No food, no meet ups

Going out doesn’t make any sense if there’s no food involved. What’s the point anyway; they’d rather talk on the phone or thank God for Skype and Facetime. Hence don’t judge them when they don’t accompany you at times, you know what’s missing; It’s not you.

Their Camera roll is an edible collage

The entire photo gallery has more pictures of what they ate rather than of them. After all, it has a more sensory, aesthetic and soothing appeal and will always remind them of the good times.

Movie time means Caramel/Cheese popcorn

As they say, every experience is incomplete until you add some spice to it. Food has that charisma to it and well there is caramel and cheese, so I need not say more.

Boozing means Chakhna

Experiences prove that you never attain a happy high till there is no worthy snack or more commonly ‘chakhna’ to go with it. And for a foodie its worse, alcohol opens up gateways of unknown hunger pangs they had never known existed, they eat more than usual and are happier than usual.

 Maggi is the national food

Well, you don’t have to be a foodie to agree to it, we all have our own maggi tales to bear testimony to that. Right from childhood, it has been making lasting memories and experiences in every Indian household.

Cheat meals take over the diet plans

We all go through that ‘I want to lose’ phase every month or so. It starts off with great vigor, loyalty and dedication. But for a foodie by the time the weekend arises, the thought of treating one with that one authorized cheat meal exceeds all and by Monday, realization dawns that it was a whole weekend that was cheated on.

They are wizards when it comes to recipes

They have magic, they can turn the most repulsive of ingredients into a thing of glory. They know what flavor will go with what, even though it may sound untouchable in theory but when it’s done, it turns out to be an amazing pathway to Nirvana. Dying of hunger is not an option with them; they always find a way out and make sure that you do too.

A foodie knows his food, trust them on it and they will guide you to a culinary experience to remember at all times. They are a harmless species of selfless creatures, who just follow the dharma of ‘Eat well to live well’.


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About The Author

Surbhi Pershad

Surbhi Pershad

A foodie by lineage, writer by profession and potterhead by heart. Being an ardent follower of boyzone, she lives by their mantra of "Words are all I have to take your heart away"

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