A COUNTERINTUITIVE APPROACH TO LIVING A GOOD LIFE
In a world full of chaos ever heard someone saying “Stop trying to be Positive all the time, Don’t Try, The Importance of Saying No, Happiness Is a Problem, You are not special” Mark Manson is that someone I am talking about in the above lines.
Manson doesn’t sugar coat or exaggerate words. He makes it very clear that Not everybody can be extraordinary – there are winners and losers in the society, and some of it is not fair or your fault. He advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. For me, if I give you a brief about the book it hits you like a much-needed slap on the face – filled with immensely provoking thoughts which at times turn out to be hilarious and vulgar. The book is full of counterintuitive suggestions opposite of all those motivation and inspiring bundle of books you might have ever read. He’s crude, vulgar and doesn’t give a fuck. The man is actually inspiring, deeply philosophical and yeah very clever too. Out of all the approaches he has brilliantly disguised his book using a tricky language that could make an individual read this book about values in a totally different way. This book will not teach you how to gain or achieve, rather, how to lose and let go.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck is a book about exploring what’s truly important leaving everything else aside. A sneaky truth about life – We’re born giving away too many fucks. There’s no such thing as not giving a fuck. The question then is, what we give a fuck about! Most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks are not supposed to be given. But Manson encourages us to limit our concerns over things that have a very little meaning or may be no meaning at all in our lives. It is about choices we make how much we value a lot of wrong things and end up giving away too many fucks. Manson mentions “WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF FUCKS TO GIVE; SO YOU MUST CHOOSE YOUR FUCKS WISELY.” (That’s one of my favorite quote from the book).
“Fuck Positivity”, Manson says “Let’s be honest, sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.” Let’s be honest – Life is essentially an endless series of problems. When you try solving one problem you’re merely creating and digging a space to fall in for another one. If you try to run away from problems, life starts revolving around all those negative values which again leads to giving too many fucks.
We have said so much about not giving a fuck. So what does not giving a fuck means exactly? Well according to Mark:
“Subtlety#1: Not giving a fuck doesn’t mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
Subtlety#2: To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more than adversity.
Subtlety#3: Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a fuck about.”
Life is just what it is. We accept it, warts and all. We should reserve our fucks for the important stuff in life we have: our families, our best friends, our golf swings. And trust me, this is enough. Essentially, we should become more selective about the fucks we are willing to give. This is something called maturity. That’s the point when we realize we’re a bit mature to give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy. Once we stop running from our problems we begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find treasure worthy of an explorer willing to look below the surface.
The book has merely taught me how to reduce the number of fucks I used to give and how to scrub out what is important and what is not. Trust me you can fall backward and still be okay. It yanks you out of delusion but also helps you to come out of the zone where you’ve been stuck for so long. And yeah happiness comes from solving problems. A real progress on how to solve your problems in a better way and living a more meaningful life with fewer fucks.
To end it I’d quote it in Mark’s word: “Problems are always a never-ending upward spiral. And if you think at any point you’re allowed to stop climbing, I’m afraid you’re missing the point. Because the joy is in climbing itself.”
On that note make sure you don’t miss the joy of climbing or else you’re missing one of the best counterintuitive approaches to living a good life. Also, the book has a lot more in it for the ones who are seeking confidence and trust me it is worth giving a F*ck.
If you like this review and want to read this book you can get it from Amazon